🫸"I’m here to offer you a deal worth five hundred thousand, and I don't even have five pennies in my pocket... I have come here to sell my talent and my self-confidence. And I am fully confident that you will definitely buy it." 🫷
— (Translated from Hindi original version),
an iconic line spoken by the protagonist, Vijay, in Trishul, a 1978 Indian cinema masterpiece.
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| Self-confidence is the belief in the effectiveness of one's own abilities |
🔆What Self-Confidence Really Means
Is self-confidence a natural gift? Or can it be acquired?
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language,
5th Edition defines Self-Confidence as “Belief in the effectiveness of one's
own abilities or in one's favorable acceptance by others”.
What makes us believe in the effectiveness of our own
abilities or gain favorable acceptance from others? Is it our family legacy,
wealth, exceptional beauty or our intellect? What about those who don’t have any
– or all – of these advantages but still exude confidence like they own the
world?
While some of these questions are best answered by experts,
one thing is clear from personal experience: confidence is not simply a gift
you are born with. It can be shaped by knowledge, experience, environment,
personal values, skills and training, among other factors.
You may have a code of conduct that you live by, people you
like to hang out with, an academic background, life and career goals.
Confidence comes from knowing yourself better. Self-confidence is not about “I”
or “me.” It is about the Self: self-awareness and self-worth.
From a broader viewpoint, self-confidence is considered a
major contributor to success in education, at work or in personal life. A
confident person is invariably viewed as someone who has “figured things out” on
personal and professional fronts.
From a personal viewpoint, when you are on a growth
trajectory you feel great and develop a sense of confidence and accomplishment.
When things aren’t going well, you may not feel so confident, start doubting
your abilities and question your self-belief.
🏆Practical Ways to Strengthen Your Confidence
Knowing what confidence is only helps if we also know how to
strengthen it in daily life. The goal is to retain a strong sense of
self-confidence, regardless of circumstances, especially when the going gets
tough.
Fair and honest self-valuation is key. Otherwise,
self-confidence can give way to overconfidence, such as arrogance and
self-importance, or under-confidence, such as self-doubt and negative self-talk
Here are some methods that have worked for me and hope they
help you too:
1. Knowing Yourself: Skills, Strengths, and Personal
Growth Areas
Self-confidence starts with understanding who you are—both
in terms of your skills and your personality. Assess your knowledge and skill
base: education, trade skills, soft skills, training, and other capabilities.
For example, you may have strong memory skills, a pleasant speaking voice, or
be good at word games like Scrabble.
At the same time, reflect on the type of person you are.
What do you like about yourself? What would you like to improve? This is not
about how others see you, but how you see yourself.
Are there additional or complementary skills you would like to acquire? A clearer understanding of your abilities and tendencies helps you engage more confidently in conversations and situations across a broad range of topics.
2. Asking Yourself What You Want
Understanding your life goals helps you navigate both
planned and unplanned events. Research in behavioral psychology shows that
clear goals improve motivation and confidence. When you know what you are
working toward, uncertainty becomes easier to manage.
3. Managing “Speak”
Knowing when to speak, how much to speak, and what to say is
an ongoing work in progress for most of us. There is a common misconception
that people who speak less lack confidence. Sometimes professional capability
is judged by the length of one’s response.
The reality is that you do not need to speak at length to
demonstrate confidence or competence. Nor does someone who speaks briefly
necessarily lack confidence. They may simply communicate more succinctly.
Over-talking, excessive self-praise, speaking out of turn,
or over-explaining can often signal insecurity rather than confidence.
I address this by asking my audience during meetings,
interviews, or presentations whether I have answered their questions adequately
or if they would like further clarification. This invites feedback while
reinforcing confidence in my ability to address the topic being discussed.
4. Avoiding Arrogance
Confidence should not come across as rudeness, disrespect,
or emotional volatility. Confidence builds resilience, which helps you
withstand setbacks.
We all want to be respected, and we must respect others in
return. You cannot expect respect while being dismissive or arrogant toward
others.
5. Maintaining Composure
Grace under pressure is a strong indicator of confidence.
The ability to stay calm, avoid visible panic, and think clearly during
difficult moments is a hallmark of self-confidence.
Maintaining composure allows you to respond thoughtfully and
effectively. This is why professions such as aviation, emergency response, and
healthcare place such emphasis on training for calm decision-making under
pressure.
6. Demonstrating Your Value
If you want people to believe you bring value, you must
demonstrate it at some point—through past achievements, real-time assessments,
or future opportunities where you can prove your capability.
This could be through credentials, references, interviews,
or leading an initiative that showcases your strengths while delivering
meaningful results.
7. Incorporating Flexibility and Agility
Self-confident people avoid “my way or the highway”
thinking. They welcome feedback, accept constructive criticism, and explore new
ways to improve.
This reflects a growth mindset, where feedback is viewed as
a tool for improvement rather than a threat to self-worth
8. Other Confidence Influencers
Simple activities—such as dining alone, trying new foods,
traveling to unfamiliar places, starting conversations, or negotiating—can
quietly build confidence.
I particularly recommend practicing negotiation. It forces
all involved parties to understand value. It sharpens judgment, estimation
techniques, improves communication, and builds comfort with assertive but
respectful dialogue.
Each negotiation becomes a learning opportunity. You gain
better insight into products, pricing logic, and human behavior—skills that
translate well beyond the transaction itself. Negotiation skills contribute
towards building self-confidence.
💡Final Thoughts - Confidence Is a Journey, Not a Switch
Building confidence is an ongoing process, not a one-time
achievement. Honest self-assessment, continuous learning, emotional composure, resilience,
respect for others and flexibility work together to shape how we see ourselves
and how others respond to us. Confidence grows when actions, values, and skills
are aligned, especially during difficult phases of life and career.
Please share in the comments any approaches to building
self-confidence that have worked for you. Learning from each other is, after
all, another powerful way to grow.
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